The Dangers of Good Friends & Good Food
by Nelys the Alchemist
Summary: “Heero on the other hand would run off with determination to make the bartender lay every bottle at your feet if you mentioned you were thirsty.”
1. Chapter 1

Oh what are friends for? They're there to feed you when you're feeling blue and make fun of you until you laugh at yourself...

The Dangers of Good Friends & Good Food

By Nelys the Alchemist

Chapter 1: Cookies

"And then do you know what he had the _nerve_ to say to me?!?" A coffee mug clinked nosily on the table and a hand reached out to keep the liquid inside from being outside and all over the table.

"What nerve did he show?" Eyes penciled in black drifted to the ceiling before coming to rest on the cup once again.

"He told me –" Lips pursed in suspicion. "…Are you being sarcastic? This is serious! He told me that I was working against him! By making cookies!!"

"No!" Penciled eyes, also shadowed in soft brown and blue, went wide.

"Yes!" Green eyes, devoid of makeup, watered slightly and a hand angrily brought the mug to downturned lips to take a quick sip.

"That is inexcusable."

"That's what I thought, I got SO angry!"

"We need to take drastic measures," Blue eyes sparkled as lips fought to keep an even line. A slightly less full mug was lifted to those lips to help keep them from turning up at the corners. "We should have him castrated." Steam was blown from the rim of the cup by a giggle before a small sip was taken.

"Relena!" Hilde Schbeiker slammed her mug onto the table again to emphasize her displeasure. "This is _serious_! We had the biggest fight yesterday over the most stupid thing and _he_ has the nerve to still be angry!"

Relena Darlain stifled a sigh and schooled the laughter out of her eyes. "I'm sorry Hilde…you made cookies, Duo got mad. Go on."

Hilde gave a theatrical sigh and resumed her pout.

"He told me that he thought I was on his side but," Her voice dropped low. "_I guess I was wrong_' and then ranted about how I'm supposed to be helping him and instead I sabotaged his progress."

This time Relena did sigh, as her plate was set down in front of her. The wonderful smell of pasta with vodka cream sauce hit her nose and she dove in as Hilde took her frustrations out on her salad. She speared a tomato with force and resumed her tirade after a couple of chews.

"I got so mad at him. How _dare_ he tell me I'm working against him for making a fucking batch of cookies. I swore at him and told him as much."

Relena thanked the waiter as he refilled her water, nodding at her friend with as much sympathy as she could muster.

"Then he told me about a-a rule he decided on." Hilde looked truly stricken at this.

Relena quirked an eyebrow. "A rule?"

"Yes!" Hilde slammed her fork down, causing the people at the table next to her to jump. "He said that from now on whenever I brought food into the house or made something and he found it and it was junk food that he was just going to throw it out!"

Relena looked at her incredulously. "He's just going to waste food? And if you want to eat it?"

"He says I have to hide it! He says that as long as he doesn't find it everything is fine. I said what, I couldn't even bring food into my own house?" Stab stab stab went her fork into her salad bowl. Hardly had she swallowed before she opened her mouth again. "Then – THEN! He had the fucking nerve to get _mad_ that I was getting mad – that I wasn't behind his stupid new rule."

"_I thought you would be behind me a hundred and ten percent_," She continued in a mocking tone. "_I'm trying to lose weight and you have to make cookies and now I'm up three pounds_," Her angry lilt returned. " And I'm just shoving those cookies down his throat? I haven't baked anything in months and the first time I do and he eats them and suddenly _I'm_ the bad guy?"

Relena nodded sagely, pleased with her food choice.

"We fought for an hour. He was so mad and I kept getting mad so I would say things I didn't usually say and that would just make him more angry and then he didn't want to talk to me."

"So he's sulking now is he?" She noted the name of the dish to remember it next time she came.

"I left him alone for over four hours and when I went back into his office to work it out he went right into the same spiel and so I told him 'up yours! How dare you tell me I'm working against you-' and he closed the door in my face," She turned pleading eyes to Relena. "Rel, why couldn't I just shut up?"

Relena put her head on her hand and looked at her friend. "Because you're too stubborn. He hurt your feelings so you wanted to hurt his. You're probably PMS-ing."

Hilde threw her a dirty look.

"I'm just saying," Relena shrugged her shoulders. "Look, he'll get over it and you'll get over it. Is it really something to get that worked up over?"

"I didn't think so but he just wouldn't drop it…" Hilde frowned and turned sad eyes to her empty plate.

The waiter returned and cleared the dishes, taking the dessert order quickly and in moments chocolate cake and fresh coffee were brought to sooth savage emotions.

"You need to go see him without getting mad. You know it won't do any good." Relena savored the last bite and signaled for the check. She glared at the protest on Hilde's lips before slipping cash into the billfold and handing it back to the waiter.

At the door to the restaurant the two girls shared a hug.

"Hilde," Relena said, suddenly all serious. She looked over both shoulders before leaning closer to her friend. Hilde looked at her quizzically.

"I just have to know one thing," And in a conspiratorial tone asked. "_Were_ you working against him?"

"Oh!" Hilde shoved away a laughing Relena and turned away in mock disgust.

"You guys will make up and all will be well in Hilde and Duo land again. Trust me." At this she dropped into the passenger side of the waiting car and gave Hilde a wave as it pulled into traffic. Hilde stuck her tongue out in response but did so with a smile.

With a sigh and a roll of her eyes Relena turned to the driver.

"Did Duo tell you about this cookie thing?"

"Unfortunately yes," Heero replied as he motored down the road. "Hilde looked very animated during lunch. It will probably last through the week."

"Did you say anything to him?"

"I told him it's his own fault he has a belly," Sharp eyes scanned the road and soft music filtered in through the speakers. "He told me to fuck off."

"And the bond between you grew stronger I'm sure," She watched the people as they rode past before turning a thoughtful eye to Heero. "Don't get fat." She said simply.

He raised an eyebrow but otherwise showed no reaction.

"I don't want to have to hide my cookies from you," She continued innocently, pretending to study her nail polish. "There's nothing worse than a fat man after your cookies."

A red light stopped the car and Heero slowly turned until his eyes met hers.

"It's not your cookies I'm after."

She smirked and crossed her legs as they came within view of the office building.

Once the car was parked she turned and pointed a finger at him. "But if you got fat-"

"You couldn't hide them if you tried."

~END~

Ah and you know the boys have to be in there somewhere.


	2. Chapter 2

The Dangers of Good Friends & Good Food

By: Nelys the Alchemist

Not so much food in this one. Friends are there for you when you're livid and ready to kill.

Chapter 2: Shopping

The dressing room was alive on this cold November morning. Alive with the heavy beat of the newest music, drifting across the dressing room stalls amidst the chatter of girlfriends, mothers and daughters. Zippers and the swish of fabric, the thunk of purses and shoes all worked hard to drive anyone with sanity and impatience batty and towards the exit.

"I just don't understand _men_."

Which was how they wanted it.

The curtain, strung across a room the size of a postage stamp and only there on the pretense of modesty, was yanked aside and a lone figure took a step out and glared at her comrade with a question in her fiery eyes.

Relena blinked and tried to hide her look of surprise with her disposable coffee cup. She hmm'd a moment and took a sip.

"That dress…" She started in a neutral tone, standing in the shadow of her own dressing room, across from her friend.

"Looks like a tuft of cotton candy." Dorothy finished, snapping her eyes down her slim shape in disgust. "Why did I let you talk me into trying it on?"

She snapped the curtain back in place and Relena resisted the urge to remind her who had chosen the dress. She certainly wouldn't have thought anything labeled 'striking' on the tag was meant for anything beyond bowling.

She ducked back into her dressing room and pawed through the hangers on the lone hook. After a minute of admiration for each article she pulled one out and quickly worked her way into it.

"With everything going on at the office…and he has no qualms about just walking off –" The clink of a hanger and a strained pant interrupted the clipped words and Relena saw a pale arm dart out of the curtain from the gape in her own curtain. "And leaving me. Stranded. Just like that." She stepped back out with a snap of her fingers to emphasize her point.

Relena poked her head out and grinned. "You look like you're wedged between two balloons."

Dorothy glanced at the shock of red satin that billowed out at each shoulder. The sleeves puffed up as though stuffed with cotton and the plunging neckline did little to detract from them. Then she looked down at the slit that ran up the dress and threw her hands out.

"I like it." She dared.

"What?" Relena never knew her friend to give in so easily. "The person who made that thing obviously came from a time when shoulder pads three feet high were the style. What are you going to do to get around that? Tease your hair to the ceiling?"

"The skirt-"

"A tube of lipstick."

Dorothy looked back down the length of the dress, face scrunched in intense scrutiny, before snapping the curtain back in place without a word.

"We don't even need men anymore." She said in a sour tone a moment later.

Relena rolled her eyes heavenward, noting the security camera and sticking her tongue out at it before stepping out and shaking her friend's 'door'.

"Yes we do," She replied. "They help relieve stress-"

"That's what vibrators are for."

"That's not what I meant!"

Dorothy's head peeked out from the folds of the fabric with true puzzlement on her face.

"What did you mean then?" She asked as she handed a bundle of what some called fashionable attire over to Relena with one bare arm.

Then she frowned.

"You're wearing a carpet bag." She idly remarked.

"This is the height of fashion." Sarcasm dripped from the rough wool of the tweed suit. Relena owned several, but the cut and color of this particular piece left something to be desired. She took the clothes and deposited them in the pile next to her chair with an exasperated sigh. "By doing the dirty things _we_ don't want to. Didn't Quatre dig through the garbage that one time because you thought your credit card had been thrown out?"

Now it was Dorothy who rolled her eyes before she disappeared back behind the heavy fabric.

"That was _his_ fault to begin with. And he didn't dig through the trash – he paid the busboy to do it. Not everyone has a knight in shining armor that will wade through toxic waste for your earring."

She came back from around the curtain with the hint of humor in her eyes. This one was a lovely shade of bold yellow, an off the shoulder number with a wrap for her arms and miles and miles of full skirts that rustled as she moved.

She tipped her head back and posed, hands on hips.

"You look like a duck."

She raised an eyebrow, the ghost of a grin passing across her lips. "I was thinking more banana chic."

Relena laughed and closed the curtain on her stall before selecting another item.

"It wasn't toxic waste, it was just toilet water," She shimmied and contorted in a manner Heero might have liked as she reached for the zipper. "But yes, he did it so I wouldn't have to. Isn't that an admirable enough quality to want men around?"

"No."

"Say that when your earrings fall in the toilet. Here-" She twisted around the curtain with her hands at her back and Dorothy moved the curtain aside. "Help me with this – damned thing. It's stuck." Expert hands found the hitch and smoothed out the fabric, a beautiful color of robins egg blue, and pulled it into place at the neckline.

Relena fretted and tugged until it felt right then turned to Dorothy, eyes still on the dress.

"This one is kind of nice I think." She commented, picking at lint and tugging at the neckline. Curious at the lack of response she glanced up.

Dorothy had her arms crossed and a frozen expression of horror on her face.

"You look…" She caught herself. "Announcing to the world that It's A Boy?"

Relena looked back down at herself before scurrying back into her stall.

"I told him that was it," Dorothy continued. "I'm not dealing with that man anymore." She said with a note of finality.

"Let me get this straight. The world has ended?" The honey-blond replied amidst the shuffle of fabric. "Because he broke your dinner date and borrowed your car?"

"He did not JUST borrow my car Relena," She could hear the anger and frustration in her friend's voice. "He waltzed into my office while I was in a meeting, _took_ my 1978 Firebird that I had IMPORTED from earth, _without_ asking me and used it to drive that_ common street walker _home. This on a day that was supposed to be our anniversary! He should be lucky I don't skin him for that."

"Quatre's secretary is not a street walker – what anniversary?"

"It's been six weeks since we bought the house."

They both waltzed out at the same time and Dorothy arched an eyebrow.

"I think that's what she was wearing. It looks cheap enough."

"What?" Relena asked, shrugging her bare shoulders. "Short and strapless means street walker?"

"When combined with any color commonly used to highlight text, yes."

She pursed her lips and eyed the outfit adorning the irate woman in front of her.

"My grandmother wore that last week to her yacht club."

Dorothy gasp.

"Bitch." She snapped before stomping back into her stall.

Relena smirked and drew a check mark with her finger for the benefit of the camera before returning to her own stall.

"_Just_ because she's single does not mean Quatre is banned from being polite. And anyway why are you in such a snit, six weeks isn't some earth shattering record for a couple living together, and doesn't he borrow your car all the time?" She called over as she pawed her way into the bundle in her hands in search of the fastener.

"He has been _expressly_ forbid from taking my car without asking. He didn't ask because he knew I'd say no and then he would have been forced to use that _sensible_ monstrosity he's trying to drive me away with." An abrupt sigh was heard, breaking her tirade. "And six weeks is a very long time for someone who used to make men grovel at her feet my dear. I've _never_ traded so much to be with one man before."

"Well what did he say when you told him as much?" Two minutes, far too much time to find a zipper, and Relena was pulling the garment over her head.

"He told me I was being ridiculous." Dorothy's voice was muffled by the sharp sound of hangers being angrily slid across a metal bar. "He tried to lie about an impromptu meeting with the new president of Mars. I didn't stay to listen to the rest of it."

"Ta-da!" Relena said, once more in the hall. Dorothy leaned out with the curtain wrapped around her and gave a snort when Relena struck a pose, strutting to the full length mirror and back.

Thick and heavy looking brown satin wrapped Relena from shoulder to ankle. The dark brown slippery material hung from each shoulder to touch her wrists with wide billowy sleeves. The wrap style crossed her chest and gave her the illusion of sharp breasts and a wide belt of the same fabric wound around her waist. The pant legs billowed in the same way straight down to her ankles.

Dorothy raised her eyebrows and looked down her nose at her blonde friend.

"I think you stole that from my second floor window." She said.

"It zips up the back," She confided in a smug tone.

"It's also a light blocking fabric, I'll trust you'll hang it back once you're through?"

"I shall tell your foooortune," Relena waved her hands towards her, an accent sprinkling her words.

Dorothy pulled back behind the curtain.

"Six! I see six leetle blonde babies for you-ooOOoo."

A dress came flying overhead and Relena laughed and ducked back into her stall to avoid it.

"Well men are still worth having around," She commented, pulling a cotton piece off the hanger. "I don't care how independent women are supposed to be, I _like_ having a door opened for me."

"Anyone will hold a door open for you."

"Without having to pay them! Look look." Relena's tone was exasperated but she sighed and struck a pose. Dorothy's face said determined but she poked her head out anyway.

It was pale green and made of tight but stretchy material with white stripes wrapping the short sleeves. It ended just about where indecency began and had a small ruffle that no one would mistake for a skirt. The collar was high and one that belonged to a man's work shirt, with three buttons open at the neck and the same white stripe wrapping around it.

"Tennis anyone?" Relena asked with a flutter of her eyelashes.

"They'll certainly get a show when you retrieve the ball." Dorothy grinned. "An athletic prostitute, how novel. You can play ball in the house, or play with-"

"How much will you put down that I can get out of the house in this?"

"That depends. Are you going to have to retrieve your purse from the floor?" The image of Heero frozen in horror, and excitement, jumped to mind and both girls ducked back into their dressing rooms.

Relena pulled the dress off and her hair fought for freedom. She blew it out of her face and started smoothing it out with both hands. Her curtain was tugged this time and she obediently stuck her head out.

Dorothy struck a pose in a cream colored polyester dress that hit her mid-thigh. While the skirt was short the sleeves were long and the fabric gathered at her neck. Strips of obviously fake diamonds sneaked around each wrist and the incredibly high neckline.

"Where-" Relena couldn't believe such a thing was actually for sale.

"Wait, you haven't seen the best part." She spun around and bent over, hands on her knees. The dress not only zipped from her waist to her neck, but the skirt in front was actually shorts.

Laughter bubbled forth before she could stop it and she held on to the curtain for support.

"A gay prince!" She gasp through her laughter.

Dorothy straightened up with an indignant look on her face, turned back around and shot Relena a frosty glance down the bridge of her nose.

"You will refer to me as your majesty when I address you. Peasant." She said icily before strolling back into her cube and snapping the curtain closed.

Relena doubled over and tears ran down her face before she could control herself. She straightened up and after a minute of looking around her disheveled box called out to Dorothy.

"You win, I'm all out." She said and started pulling her own clothes back on, a dark brown skirt that hit her at the calf with warm brown boots, topped with a deep blue sweater.

"That was the piece de resistance of my collection. Lunch?"

"Wonderful, Grand Rome? I hear they have a wonderful new chicken entrée." Relena pulled an envelope out of her purse and stuck it loosely between the folds of fabric that adorned the floor before stepping out of the stall.

Dorothy came out a minute later, wearing a cashmere gray sweater over tight black jeans that cost more than everything strewn across the floor.

"Lovely," She said picking her way across the mess they made and towards the exit. "You left your usual bit of charity? _Really_ Relena, it _is_ their job to clean up, they _do_ get paid for it."

"I know," Came the usual reply. "But we do leave an awful mess. I feel better giving them something for our fun." Relena froze suddenly, then threw Dorothy a look.

"A meeting with the president of Mars? Dorothy, I arranged that meeting and it _was_ last minute, Quatre has been trying to get a contract for the security set-up of the new government infrastructure they're building. The president's plane was leaving within the hour."

"Oh?" Dorothy glanced at her nails, unfazed with the news. "And did he get the contract?"

"Yes, his secretary notarized it right there on the tarmac," She blew out a frustrated breath as they moved towards the exit. "Dorothy, he was telling you the truth."

"Well," She thought a moment, all traces of anger gone. "Perhaps I can forgive him then. We'll see. What kind of dessert menu does Grand Rome have? I'm in the mood for something decadent."

End – thanks for reading!!

I must say, Relena's remark about the last dress I got from my very homosexual friend who said that very thing when I waltzed out in the very same dress described above. So, y'know, it's cool.

All dress descriptions come from my personal closet where I've gathered a very odd assortment. Some I've come to my senses on and gotten rid of. Others I shall never part with even if they do call me the Swiss Miss girl when I wear it….


	3. Chapter 3

The Dangers of Good Friends

Nelys the Alchemist

Friends are there for you when you're feeling alone and unwanted by the opposite sex

Chapter 3: Clubbing

Relena eyed the club dubiously. _Texas Hold 'em_ was the local dance club she had been trying to avoid for quite some time. Nothing had been able to get her there so far, until today.

"And I'm not even dressed for it." She grumbled as she paid the ridiculously high cover to get in the door. The door thug allowed her entrance and any internal dialog she'd been having ceased as a wave of base laden techno country remix washed over her disgruntled form.

The club looked rather nice in the colorful flashing lights that decorated every corner. Bar top tables littered the area surrounding the entrance, a long and shiny bar held court along one wall and softly lit booths admitted a cozy atmosphere for the drunk along the other wall. The back of the club was taken up entirely by the dance floor, as anyone would expect, and the dance floor was taken up entirely by a wall of people. As expected on a Friday night.

Relena waded through a great number of people, some a little buzzed, some a little lit, all of them sweaty from the hot lights and heavy dancing. She made her way to the bar and grabbed the attention of the male bartender as he shook various liquids in a shaker.

"Looking for my friend," She yelled into his ear. "Tall with short red hair, probably wasted?"

"That's a lotta people here, but you probably mean her." He laughed, gave her a wink and pointed to the end of the bar where a very familiar looking head was turned towards a man and talking very animatedly. She gave him a smile as thanks and slowly excused her way to the far end of the bar trying not to mix with any of the aforementioned sweaty bodies.

As she approached the man getting talked at turned his attention to her and away from the animated redhead. He gave a little wave that he must have thought was very cute and the redhead snapped her head around to glare at the blonde in the formal dress.

"Cathy," Relena shouted with a smile. "And you said I never come to visit?"

Catherine's eyes lit up in recognition and she promptly spun around on her barstool to face her good friend. She wore a sleeveless dress of emerald green that hit mid thigh to show off both her toned legs and quite impressively toned arms.

"Releeeena!" She said in an overly happy voice. "I thought you were some sniper coming to ruin my conversation with…with…" She spun back around and leaned towards the man with the jaunty wave. "What's your name again?"

"Greg."

She took another trip on the stool and faced Relena. Greg looked to have more to say but was now facing the back of her head.

"My conversation with Greg. But you're here now!" She gestured to the seat next to her, which was surprisingly empty, before pulling Relena to sit next to her on the spinning seat. "I've been saving this seat just for you!"

"Where's everyone else?" Relena shouted above the base. Cathy's face promptly dropped into a frown.

"They _abandoned_ me to go to Scooters, you know how much I hate that stupid sports bar and-"

"They just left you here alone?" Relena said in alarm. _And drunk?_ Going unspoken in her mind.

Cathy waved her hand away dismissively. "Nooo, I told them to get the hell out. They know I don't like Scooters, stupid sports bar. Sandy and Beth_ and_ Kristen can all go drown in their sockertini's."

"But Cathy, you know how dangerous it is to go clubbing by yourself-"

"I'm not by myself! I'm with-" Cathy brightened again and flashed a grin before sailing around on her stool to face the man next to her. She looked at him expectantly.

"Greg." He finally replied looking a little tanked himself. "You know, we could-"

"With Greg!" Cathy turned back around to Relena, who watched her small frame nervously for the moment she fell off the damn stool. "We're having a great time. Really we are – here have a drink!"

The bartender was signaled and a martini was dropped in front of Relena before she could blink. Clearly someone knew she would be coming.

"So why the irate message?" Relena put her hands on the glass for show.

"Message?" Cathy picked up her own martini and took a pretty big sip. Relena was impressed.

"You left me a message saying you were going to become a nun since no one cared enough to rip your clothes off." Cathy blinked and Relena rolled her eyes and continued. "Then you called me a selfish slut and ordered me here."

Cathy frowned at Relena's glass until she tipped it up and took a swallow. The tart apple flavor did little to mask the burning of the alcohol as it went down but the burn was forgotten after a couple of minutes.

"Oh yeah." Cathy replied after her friend had taken in a sufficiently large enough amount. "I did call, when the others left for Scooters, stupid sports bar. Isn't this place much better?"

"I don't know, I've never been to Scooters. You know I'm not much for clubbing." Relena straightened slightly to keep her dress from getting wrinkled. "And you're making me late for a dinner date."

"Is that why you're all dressed up?"

"Yes."

"I thought you dressed up to come out with me!" Cathy raised her glass high and kept it there until Relena clinked her own against it and they both took a drink. The man on Cathy's other side leaned forward and slid a finger down Cathy's arm to get her attention. Off she went to swivel to his side where she smiled brightly.

"Who's your friend?" He asked, flashing a drunkenly thought of sexy smile between the two women. Relena fanned herself to get the spike of alcohol from his breath out of her face, lest it intoxicate her further. And it was getting a little warm in the place.

Cathy's eyes narrowed to little bitty slits and she set her face in her best 'you're in deep shit now' scowl.

"Her name is _inconsequential_." She shouted in an icy tone. "And you have overstayed your welcome."

The fire in her eyes had his eyebrows up to his hairline.

"Go find yourself some blitzed little blonde and don't step a foot in my path _again_."

And here was where Relena got a fair idea of what was bothering her dear friend. Greg angrily moved away from the bar and into the crowd.

Cathy spun her stool back to Relena with less enthusiasm than moments before and picked up her drink with a pout. Eyes downcast she drained the rest of her glass before slamming it back on the bar and motioning to the bartender. He moved over with a chuckle and looked to Relena.

"Another for you as well?"

She started to decline until Cathy shoved her drink practically up under her nose.

"Drink Relena drink so I'm not alone here." She continued to push the glass until Relena finished it before looking back to the bartender with determination. "She'll have another as well."

Relena let out a breath at the fire in her mouth, her eyes watering. The things she did for a friend.

"Cathy-"

"It's not fair Relena!" Cathy waved her arms towards the masses on the dance floor. "All these men tonight and nobody gives a damn about a gorgeous redhead with a drop dead body." She stood from her stool to show off the dress. "I'm a faaantastic person and not one guy tonight has asked for my number."

"Well Cathy, you're not in the best place to be-"

"Damn it all how come all the best guys are taken and what's left only want to flirt with the married women?" She picked up her glass while readjusting herself on the stool, a fare feet of work for someone as drunk as she was. She took down half her drink before releasing a breath.

"I'm not married Cath-"

"Practically! And you've got such a gorgeous guy too! How come all the cute guys I know have to be taken or my brother???"

Relena rolled her eyes and took a drink from her own glass to mask the gesture.

'_Here we go…'_

"All the very best men have been snatched up long ago. The good ones would rather buy you or Hilde or Beth a drink than me. And you don't even deserve one! Heero can buy you the whole entire bar if he wanted to, or just take it at gunpoint!"

She swirled the green tinted liquor around a moment before slinging it back down her throat. Relena followed suit with a more dignified swallow and felt her cheeks heat up.

"I'd love a bar taken at gunpoint for me!" Cathy exclaimed before turning to the bartender and waving with fury for his attention. She shoved two glasses at him and demanded chocolate in the next round and then faced Relena again. Relena blinked and wondered when Cathy had gotten two glasses.

She looked down at her empty hands and made a mental note not to drink anymore apple-tini's. She leaned forward and poked Cathy in the arm.

"Trowa would take a bar at gunpoint for you." She said matter of factly.

"Only if I asked him to! And then, then he'd only stand there and _blink _at me until I confirmed I wasn't joking." Cathy scooped up her choco-tini and savored the first small sip, closing her eyes.

"Heero on the other hand would run off with determination to make the bartender lay every bottle at your feet if you mentioned you were thirsty." She pointed at Relena before clinking her glass against the blonde's and both drank.

"Pfft," Relena replied. "He'd spend the whole night sitting next to me glaring like a five year old I wouldn't let have any dessert."

"I'd give Heero _my_ dessert any time!"

Both women giggled until Relena was pulled back to earth by a hand touching her elbow. She and Cathy looked up at the slim man with the light brown hair. He was dressed to impress in a black suit with no tie and Relena could tell from the blinding glare coming off Cathy's smile that she was pleased.

He leaned forward between the two with a grin.

"Hey ladies," He yelled over the driving beat. "Can I buy you a drink?"

Relena felt her world tilt slightly but was not so far gone yet. She opened her mouth to speak.

"Why certainly!"

She snapped her eyes to Cathy, who was oblivious and rosy cheeked and grinning at the man like he'd just asked her to marry him.

"We just got these." She spoke up and the man turned a smile her way.

"If not a drink, maybe you'd like to dance?" He held his arm out to Relena.

'_Uh-oh.' _She snuck a glance and wished she could scoot her stool back a few feet.

Cathy's face had taken on a shade of red to match her hair. Her glass went 'tink' as she placed it on the bar, very loud considering the booming base and funky beat. She stood and jabbed the man in the chest to get him to straighten up.

"Maybe _she'd_ like to dance? What the hell is wrong with me?!?" She reached out and grabbed Relena's hand, lifting it up to the man's face. "Maybe she'd like to go dance with him huh?" One hand poised on her hip, when she received no reaction she looked down, scrutinizing the hand she held up before looking at Relena shocked.

"Where's your ring??"

Relena pried her hand back and held it up to her red face. "I'm not married Cath."

"Practically!" She rounded on the man again. "I am a fine wine of sexual desire. And you'll never know what you missed. Go away."

The man moved quickly back into the throngs and Cathy sat heavily onto her stool again. She was calm and collected and lifted her drink to her lips.

"A fine wine of sexual desire?" Relena asked.

"Yes," She nodded. "Aged five years for perfect vintage."

Relena snorted, her hair falling around her glass. "It has _not_ been that long."

"Relena, why can't I find someone?" Her eyes turned pleading.

"Maybe they're all beer drinkers." Relena said with a giggle. She pointed to a blonde dancing wildly on the dance floor when Cathy didn't respond. "See? That one's half gone, must be a Bud."

Cathy chuckled at Relena's weak attempt to lighten her mood.

"Oh c'mon, don't wallow. You're better than every guy here. You really want a relationship to start with some guy who picks you up from a club with the promise of a drink and a dance?" Relena put her glass down and faced her friend in earnest. "Not everything in the world surrounds meeting that perfect guy. And none of them are perfect anyway. Didn't I tell you what Hilde and Duo fought over a while back?"

"Well it would be nice to curl up with someone on a cold night, or to not have to go to bed alone."

"Heero hogs the covers!" Relena jumped to her feet and Cathy's eyes went wide.

"Relena, so what if he-"

"You have no idea! I wake up all the time to find a corner over my stomach and everything else wrapping him up like a mummy!" Cathy cracked a smile that Relena didn't notice as she gestured.

"Oh and heaven forbid I pull at them, he turns to me half asleep and grumbles to stop taking all the blankets! And in a queen size bed too, you'd think there'd be all the room for each of us but oo-oh no. Once he got used to it he took his half out of the middle." Relena was yelling at this point, so as to be heard over the din. Or that's what she told herself. She really had no explanation for the wild gesturing and high pitch that had colored her words.

"And you think you can sleep in when you date a morning person?" Her eyes narrowed as she pointed to Cathy. "Get that outta your head right now unless you want to be branded a slug who can't appreciate the sunrise. Sure, laugh the first time he calls you Bad Mood Darlein for throwing the pillows at him to go away but you'll be grinding your teeth after the fifth time."

"But isn't it nice to have someone to come home to?" Cathy was smiling full out now while Relena paused to drain her glass.

"Only if you don't mind getting lectured on leaving your products out on the bathroom sink, I mean really if I don't care about the cap of the toothpaste why should he?"

"You're just saying this because you're drunk!" Cathy swiveled on her stool towards the bar to pick up her drink and finish it off.

"You're the one drunk here, nooooot me." Relena replied taking two tries to get her glass on the bar. "How many of these have you had anyway?"

Cathy shrugged. "five maybe, I don't know. We started with shots."

A man came walking up into Cathy's view and before Relena could blink she was on her feet.

"Her name is _taken_ now get the hell outta here!"

Relena laughed as the man walked off. Cathy turned to her.

"That still pisses the hell out of me." She said before grabbing Relena's hand. "C'mon, let's dance!"

Cathy pushed through the bodies, pulsing with the beat , until the two managed to secure a square of the dance floor for themselves. Then they danced silly. Literally.

They swung each other around and put on a show, trying out ridiculous old dance moves they'd seen in movies. They laughed at each other and ignored the men that popped up periodically to woo them.

When Relena's dress was soaked across her back and it was too hot to dance they retreated back to the bar and had another round to cool down until they were ready to dominate the dance floor again. Both girls knew how to hold their liquor (thanks to Sally Po and a place called the Dim Bulb) but enough vodka will take its' toll on anyone.

Before they knew it, it was two am and they were stumbling up Relena's walk, shushing and giggling at each other.

"Ouch – who put that lion there? Go 'way kitty."

"That's a presen from me, he's not real! Hous-warming from last year!"

"Aww you got me presents!"

More giggling as the two made their way to Relena's door.

"I kin get inside."

"Nooo, you're too drunk. Heero will like to kill me if he finds you like this."

"That's why," Relena whispered, precisely measuring out her words. "We have to be quiet…" The fiddling scraping sounds of a key fumbling against a lock echoed through the night.

"What's wrong with this fucking key??"Relena exclaimed rosy cheeked from alcohol and frustration.

Which set Cathy into a fit of giggles, which sent Relena into a fit of giggles.

Which is how Heero found them when he opened the door a minute later.

The light from the interior of the house came beaming out and fell across the glazed eyes and ruddy cheeks of the two girls, cutting off the laughter as they looked up into a very stern face.

"Uh-oh." Relena said without thought.

He contemplated them for a moment, leaning his shoulder against the doorframe.

"Dinner?" Heero finally said with an arched eyebrow. "An hour at most?"

"Well," Relena glanced at Cathy before working to set her face into a more responsible and serious expression. "It…took longer than expected-ed."

"Uh-huh."

"Oooooh," Cathy snickered, knowing she was not the target. "Releeeena's in trooooouble."

Relena shot her a dirty look before being smothered in a quick hug by her redheaded friend. She swayed when Cathy released her and after the world stopped spinning she found her partner in crime backing away down the driveway.

"It's been great fun Rel but I gotta go back to my empty empty apartment," Cathy started stumbling backwards and down the driveway. "No one waiting up for poor little me! Thanks again for coming out with me, let's do it again soon!"

"Traitor!" Relena grumbled as her friend waved and climbed into the cab. She turned and went into the house under the guise of being sober, straight backed and sure footed, focusing hard on not crashing into any of the dancing furniture under Heero's watchful eye.

Friends are also there to get you in trouble. Especially single friends.


End file.
